I don't know where to start… Lets say that I've become the definition of failure. Every time I embark upon an endeavor which involves other people, it ends badly for me. Generally it starts good and I thrive, but after aproximately four months it all comes crashing down. And aproximately four months later I get my hands in a new endeavour, only to repeat the cycle all over again. This has been happening for almost eight years, and not only I'm not growing, but I'm also reaching a dead end (if I'm not already there).
I'm basically alone, since people don't want to hear what I say and they always say that my search for equity is futile (when they are not questoning my mental health). I've been dealing with discredit for a long time… And because everything is a mess, and it doesn't matter how much effort I put into it I always fall, I've to think that the answer is outside me (that's why I said cursed)..
And about the bound part, lets say that I don't feel the energy that I remember feeling when I first started practicing. That scares me, because if I'm bound I can't defende myself, and I will never get out of this terrible loop. The few times I tried using a black candle to dispel the negativity, it backfired and sped up the fall. One of those times, I came back to my house just to find the candle in the middle of a raging fire…
I hope someone with more enlightenment can help me or point the way, because it's really hurtful having to admit that good people come into the world just to suffer.
Read more: reddit.com